Feelings So Confus'd
by Raven Sky Costello
Summary: Rose and the Doctor are almost more than friends – but what happens when Rose takes the Doctor's insecurities the wrong way? This tale follows the journey of Rose and the 9th Doctor as they hurtle towards finding love. ABANDONED.
1. Rejection

Title: Feelings so Confus'd

Doctor: 9th, naturally.

Disclaimer: All I own is... is... now where did I put it? I'm sure I own something! Oh yeah! I own nothing. Doctor Who belongs to the BBC, as much as I wish (and you, too, no doubt) that it belonged to me.

Summary: It started with a kiss, then it got confusing!

A/N: Read & Review or my Wear-Bear will eat you! M for later chapters. This is my first fanfic so be nice!

Chapter 1: Rejection

She kissed him, desperately, wanting more. She moved her hands to his arse in an attempt to draw him closer, but he caught her hands and settled them around his shoulders. She grabbed his wrist and moved his hand to her breast, sending a silent message. He ignored the message and pulled his hand away. She opened her eyes to gauge his reactions to their kiss. She could see a smile, in the corners of his closed eyes. Yet she could also see that he was holding back from her, pulling his emotions inside himself. She decided to try something, in an attempt to draw out his emotions.

Keeping her eyes open, she slid her tongue along his bottom lip, waiting for an invitation. It never came, though she felt his lips tighten as he stopped himself from inviting her in. Ignoring the lack of passion the Doctor was giving her, Rose slid her tongue over his bottom lip, ever so slightly, and in a way that would arouse any other man in the universe. At the same time as this, she grabbed his wrist again and put his hands over her breasts. Before he could pull them away, she started to move his hands for him, almost in a massaging way, loving the way everything in her reacted to that touch.

The Doctor moaned, showing the first sign of passion she'd seen from him since they had first kissed. He seemed to catch himself moaning and pulled away, his hand still massaging her left breast, seemingly unnoticed. Looking at her, he saw that she was breathing more heavily than usual, and as he looked down, he realised why. Hurriedly - no, she realised, guiltily - he pulled his hand back.

"Rose..." His voice was hoarse. "I'm sorry... I-I I shouldn't have..." He trailed off, still looking her in the eye. She tried to kiss him again, and succeeded, if only for the barest second, before he pulled back again, turning his head so she couldn't kiss him again. "No, Rose. I can't. We shouldn't!" His voice was void of all emotion, as if he were trying to hide what he felt from himself, as well as the universe.

"We should! I can! Yes, Doctor!" She replied. She wrapped her arms around his waist, in an attempt to bring him to her. He gently pulled her hands away from him and left them at her side.

"No. Rose... this isn't right... we shouldn't be with each other..." he said, willing her to deny it. Begging to the gods that she would deny it.

"Yes we should! I know it, and you can't bloody deny it! Why won't you be with me? All of me?"

The Doctor looked down at her, and decided he would stick to the promise he'd made with Jack. He'd ask her how she felt.

"I don't know how! That's why! How can you be passionate, and I mean 'let everything go' passionate with someone you don't love?" He asked, waiting for her to tell him she loved him. He never could have imagined the turmoil his words would cause Rose.

XXXX)0(XXXX

She didn't know how long had passed between them. Minutes of nothing but silence. Apart from in her head, which was screaming.

Her world had collapsed. With that one sentence, everything seemed to make sense. A dark, heartbreaking sense. He didn't love her. She couldn't believe it. HE DIDN'T LOVE HER! As she tried to look outwardly calm, she wrestled a torrent of emotions. How would she survive, knowing that the man she would die for didn't... didn't even as much as love her? How? She didn't understand how she had been foolish enough to think that the Doctor loved her. She felt so confused, and all she wanted to do was run away. From her feelings and from her Doctor - No! she reprimanded herself, not my Doctor - and from herself. How could she look at the Doctor - who she loved more than anyone else in any time or any universe - knowing that he didn't feel the same, gut-wrenching love for her?

She didn't notice that the Doctor's shoulders were hunched as he waited for her reply, or that he was watching her intently, as though what she said next could re-write all of time and space. He felt shocked at what he had said; shocked that he'd finally asked her. He'd had to, though. He'd decided to when he felt himself getting harder. He was desperate to take their relationship - if you could call a few kisses a relationship, that is - to the next level.

Then he could show her how he truly felt without being worried about the consequences. He could kiss her when he wanted, with all the passion he had kept within himself, feel her beneath him and not wonder whether she would run off. He liked the gentleness of their kisses, but sometimes when he looked at her he was filled with a hunger so strong he knew if he acted on it he would ravage her. His kisses would be so harsh she'd be left bruised from it. He'd crush her with his hugs. He'd thrust into her so deeply and with so much passion she be unable to walk for days.

But he'd also give up all his regenerations just to get one smile out of her. Just so she could be happy for a minute. He would destroy everything and anything to keep her out of harm's way.

She was his Rose. But did she - could she - love him?

All this was realised in a matter of seconds, though neither knew the others thoughts. Rose was distraught and she made the decision to get out of there. She couldn't stay there anymore. It was too painful.

"I - uh, I need some space," Rose blurted, dashing to the console room door. "I'll, um, I'll be with Jack."

"Rose..." The Doctor whispered.

"No! J-Just leave me alone, yeah?" With that she ran out of the room, running her hand through her hair.

"No, you can't... I love you!" He replied to the empty room.

He sank into one of the chairs the TARDIS had provided him with. That only proved she didn't love him. He knew he could still be kissing her now, if he hadn't opened his mouth. He wouldn't have opened his mouth if she hadn't have tried to take it further. Why did she always do it?

Seven days had gone since she first kissed him. That first time she had left it at that and the Doctor had assumed she'd forget all about it. But then she kissed him again, and had kissed him five times since their first. Each time, she'd tried to take it further. He hadn't let her of course. He didn't trust himself to.

And... What if she was just with him until... until she picked up another pretty boy? He couldn't allow himself to fall even more in love with Rose, especially if she didn't love him back. It'd be like Gallifrey all over again.

No. If she needed space, he'd give her all the space she could ever need. Until, that is, she changed her mind. If she changed her mind. Which she probably wouldn't, but... even Time Lords can pray, right?

XXXX)0(XXXX

A/N: I've not been particularly good at updating this on time, but I'm honestly trying. At the moment, I'm going through each chapter separately and correcting the mistakes (especially the switches between tenses! LoL!) and I hope you like the new and improved version. I will try to post another chapter soon, but I can't make any promises, as I'm doing my A2 levels at the moment. (Also – I appear to be having formatting difficulties at the moment, especially around punctuation. If you see any problems, please inform me either via review or personal message so I can correct it as soon as possible. Thanks!)

(Updated: April 5th, 2008)


	2. Promise

Sorry it's taken so long, but I've been busy with exams (really, it's the story of my life...) and I'm updating and revamping as fast as I can. As always, if you see something you like, review. If you see something you don't like, review. I'm also trying to characterise Jack as being a little more camp, so if you could tell me how successful I am, that would be appreciated.

As Jack entered one of the T.A.R.D.I.S's many gardens, he immediately sensed that someone was crying. A female someone.

"Rose? Honey? Are you okay?" He mentally kicked himself for asking such an idiotic question, and corrected himself. "What's wrong?"

"Jack!" Rose exclaimed, surprised at finding she wasn't alone. She quickly wiped her tears. "Nothing's wrong! I'm perfectly fine!" She saw Jack's disbelieving expression. "Honestly!"

"I saw you crying, Rosie," Jack said in his 'don't like to me' voice. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"I... I can't..." She stuttered, tears falling easily. This time, she made no attempt to hide or quell them.

He crouched down and embraced her, letting her sob freely.

"Come on, Rosie," Jack's tone was light, soothing. He thought about what could be wrong, and an idea occurred to him. "Is it... does this involve the Doctor?"

He knew that she had kissed him, and that he had kissed her back. He also knew that Rose was getting frustrated with the Doctor. She wanted him to let go, to kiss her with at least some conviction instead of just soft kisses and nothing more. He also knew the Doctor's side of things. Knew that the Doctor would be more than willing to take her in the middle of Tors, the coldest planet in the universe, if she said that she loved him. It didn't matter how many times Jack had told him that she loved him, he refused to believe it until he heard it from her. It didn't matter how many times he told her to tell him how she felt, she refused to until she knew she wouldn't be rejected.

He could tell that he had hit the jackpot with her reaction to the question. She held him tighter and sobbed harder.

"Rosie, honey," He soothed, stroking her hair. "We both knew it would take some time for him to admit his feelings. You've got to be patient!"

"But he did! He told me how he feels." Jack's eyebrows rose at this. If she knew that Doctor loved her then why was she crying? "Jack! Oh God Jack! He told me he doesn't love me! You were wrong!"

She broke down completely, no longer holding back any of her tears. She slumped against Jack, and probably would have fallen if it wasn't for his support.

"Are you sure that's what he said?" Jack asked, confused.

He remembered his conversation with the Doctor earlier that day. Jack had told the Doctor to show Rose how he felt. The Doctor had said he'd rather spend a week in a romantic setting with a love-struck Dalek than put his heart on his sleeve, only to get it shoved in his face again by somebody who doesn't return his ardour. Jack had replied by reminding him that it was Rose who had kissed him first and that she had done so repeatedly.

"_But Jack, what if she's just craving sexual attention? She's not been with anybody since Mickey – and that was three years ago! How can I know that she doesn't just want some harmless fun?"_

"_If it was harmless fun she was after, she'd come to me!" He didn't like admitting it, but Jack knew that was true. "And why would she get upset that you weren't responding?"_

"_I don't know, maybe she just doesn't like you that way! She's only twenty-six, how can she like a nine-hundred year old alien, with big ears and a huge nose?"_

"_You just said it yourself! If she doesn't like you 'that way' then why is she making out with me, who she clearly doesn't like 'that way'?"_

_The Doctor had fallen silent at that, a glint of hope in his eyes. Jack had felt proud of himself as the Doctor promised to ask Rose how she felt about him, knowing that tonight was probably going to be lonely._

As he watched Rose crying he wondered what had gone wrong.

"Are you sure that's what he said?" Jack asked, trying to make sense of it.

"He as good as told me he doesn't l-l-love me!" she said, still sobbing, but less now as Jack rocked her back and forth.

"What were his exact words? Maybe you misunderstood."

"No, Jack. I couldn't have. He said that you can't be passionate about someone if you don't love them!" She no longer had any tears left, and was suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion. She bowed her head, resignedly.

"Jack?" She muttered. "What can I _do_?"

"I don't know sweetie, but we'll get him back for you, I promise," He looked down at her, and noticed how tired she looked. "You just go to bed now, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay."

She left the room and the T.A.R.D.I.S. warped the corridors so she barley had to move to get to her room.

Jack sighed to himself. _When I get my hands on the Doctor, _he thought to himself, _I am going to kill him._

Well, that's another corrected chapter! Woot! I hope the re-vamp makes the story more enjoyable, and I will try to do the re-vamps faster. After the 20th June (08) my exams will be over, so I'll be able to focus on this a little bit more!

(Updated June 2nd, 2008)


	3. The Other Side Of Things

**Title:** Feelings so Confus'd

**Doctor:** 9th, naturally.

**Disclaimer:** All I own is... is... now where did I put it? I'm sure I own something! Oh yeah! I own nothing. Doctor who belongs to the BBC, though I would quite happily relieve them of Christopher Ecclesten (already free, I know)!

**Summary:** It started with a kiss, then it got confusing!

**A/N:** Read&Review or my Wear-Bear will eat you! M for later chapters. This is my first fan-fic so be nice!

Chapter 3: The other side of things!

It was forty-seven hours, twenty-four minutes and thirteen seconds since he and Rose had thought, and the Doctor was regretting it more and more as each second had gone by. Jack had spent the past couple of days with Rose. They hadn't left her room since the argument. Envy swept through the Doctor, unbidden and unwanted, but there, nonetheless. Silently he cursed himself for asking her how she felt about him.

He didn't know why she had stormed off. He'd asked her how she could be passionate about him and not love him, hoping to the gods that she would protest, that she would tell him she loved him. It hadn't worked that way. Maybe her running off was proof that she didn't love him.

Why couldn't he have just carried on kissing her? Maybe showing her how he felt would have been better than attempting to tell her.

_What's the point anyway? _He thought to himself, _She obviously doesn't love you otherwise she wouldn't have run away, would she? _

He kept recalling their kiss, and the bliss that had passed through him as her lips met his. He also remembered why he had pulled back. He had to. He had a huge hard-on, and if she felt she'd probably slap him for being so perverted. He knew if he hadn't have stopped there he might have gone too far. He was still reeling from the embarrassment of realising that he was, for lack of a better term, felling her up – even after he had stopped kissing her, he had still been massaging her breast. He didn't even want to know what she thought about that.

_I had to stop! _He scolded himself for wishing he hadn't stopped. _How else could I have prevented myself from ravaging her without consent? How?_

They hadn't even looked at each other since she had told him she needed some space. He had decided to leave her to it, let her come round. If she really wanted space, he'd give it to her. He'd give her all of the universe throughout time and space if he could. And he could, _if_ she wanted it.

He finished tinkering with the TARDIS's console and decided he needed a cup of tea. He stopped outside Rose's room, wishing he could say something. He couldn't hear anything from inside the room, and had his hand on the door handle before he shook himself. _She needs space, _he told himself, _leave her be._

He entered the kitchen and was more than surprised to see Jack sat at the table, a cold cup of coffee in front of him. Jack his head was resting in his hands, in an oddly defeated gesture. However, when the Doctor opened the door, Jack looked up, and when he saw it was the Doctor, his features took on an angry expression.

"What happened to telling her you loved her?" Jack asked, thinking it best to jump in with both feet, a definite edge of anger in his voice.

"I asked!" the Doctor exclaimed, his voice rising, though mainly due to untold pain. "I asked her how she could let go with some, and really be with them if she doesn't love them! _She_ ran out on _me_!"

It was round about then that Jack understood what had happened. He understood how the pair had mistook the others actions to mean that the other didn't love them.

"Doctor, she thinks you don't love her. That's why she ran off! Not because she doesn't love you!"

The Doctor sat down then, with a cup of tea in his hands. Jack now saw that his eyes were rimmed with red, and though he said nothing, Jack was certain the Doctor had spilt as many tears over the past couple of days as Rose had. Jack also noted a look of hope and disbelief in the Doctor's eyes, as though he hoped with all his might that what Jack was saying was true, but in the same moment, didn't dare let himself believe it could be possible.

"She doesn't love me Jack! You could see that by the way she ran away from me! Besides, I never once said I don't love her!" The Doctor was getting angry again and Jack saw his hands shaking.

"Calm down, Doctor, okay?"

"NO IT BLOODY WELL IS NOT OKAY! THE WOMEN WHO MEANS MORE TO ME THAN LIFE ITSELF JUST REJECTED ME!" The Doctor exploded, anger flushing his cheeks and a vain throbbing near his temple. Suddenly the vain stopped throbbing and his anger dissipated as he sank into his chair, realising his words. He tried not to notice that tears were slipping from his eyes. "You try being okay with that!"

Jack got up, and in much the same fashion as he had with Rose, he enveloped the Doctor in a hug, rocking him the way he would a child.

"It'll be alright – you'll see!" Jack said, a plan formulating at the back of his mind.

"How can anything be alright again? She hates me, Jack!"

**Okay, so I admit, this is _definitely not_ my best writing, and I'm already ashamed of this chapter but oh well.**

**My wear-bear told me to tell you guys that she is full so please review otherwise she will get fat from eating all the non-reviewers, and frankly we don't want that. Can you image an incredibly scary monster turning around and saying "Does my bum look big in this?" because she's eaten too many people?**

**If you like, Review!**

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**King Cogidubnus **

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**Amzipie **


	4. No Way Out Part I

**Title:** Feelings so Confus'd 

**Doctor:** 9th, naturally.

**Disclaimer:** All I own is... is... now where did I put it? I'm sure I own something! Oh yeah! I own nothing. Doctor who belongs to the BBC, though I would quite happily relieve them of Christopher Ecclesten (already free, I know)!

**Summary:** Rose and the Doctor are more than just friends, but what happens when the Doctor says something and Rose takes it the worng way?

Will give you cookies if you can give me a better summary! Please?

**A/N:** Read&Review or my Wear-Bear will eat you! M for later chapters. This is my first fan-fic so be nice!

* * *

Jack smiled as the Doctor walked past and entered the bedroom. He had chosen well, he knew. The room he had found was vaguely romantic, though small so they would have to be close. No avoiding each other. His plan was fool proof. Get them in a room. Lock them in. then it was a simple game of waiting for them to kiss and make up. He'd even provided them with a bed, so they could go that extra mile if they wanted to. And he knew they wanted to.

He heard footsteps and looked up to see Rose also heading towards the room. As she stepped inside, Jack leapt from the shadows and closed the door, locking it. Inside he heard Rose gasp and bang on the door.

"Let me out Jack! What've you locked me in here for?" She yelled through the door.

"No Rose. You and the Doctor are going to sort this out first!" He said lightly. She turned around and saw the Doctor. She hadn't noticed he was there, but now she saw he was watching her, shocked to see her in the room. She didn't register the desire in his eyes. She didn't want to.

"Jack! Let me out! Now!" A quick glance at her Doctor – _No!_ She reprimanded herself. _He's not my Doctor anymore – _confirmed that he was unhappy with the situation as well. Though she was glad he was there, and could probably make Jack open the door, she was still hurt by the tone of his voice as he commanded Jack to open the door. It sounded to her as if he neither wanted to be in that room, nor be anywhere near her.

"Doctor, Rose. Don't try to get out. Nothing will work. Not even your sonic screwdriver. I've got the TARDIS on my side and she agrees with me." He paused slightly, as if the hear their reaction.

Judging from the silence now emanating from the room, they were both shocked. _Good, _He thought, _at least I don't need to put up with their moaning! _" When I come back I expect you to have at least kissed and made up, as it were. If not, then your not coming out. Even if that means you stay in there for weeks. It's not like anyone will miss us, we're in a time machine! Buh-Bye!"

As he started walking away, Rose and the Doctor started banging on the door, telling – or in the Doctor's case, commanding – him to let them out. As they heard his footsteps die out, they gave up and the Doctor went and sat on the bed.

After fifteen minutes of stony silence, Rose also sat on the bed. The Doctor looked around the room, which was virtually just a cupboard; big enough to fit a single bed in the corner, but not big enough for more than one person – unless they were prepared to get cosy.

It was being in such close proximity to Rose that worried the Doctor. He knew that before long he would end up jumping her. Just a few days apart and his desire was growing, like a beast's need for blood after no food for days. The mere thought of jumping her sent a shot of desire to his centre and he felt himself grow even harder. He crossed his legs so it wasn't as apparent and cursed his hearts for still craving Rose even after she had made it so abundantly clear she didn't feel the same.

He sighed. So did she. At the same time. They looked at each other and smiled slightly, almost shyly.

"Listen Doctor, I'm sorry okay?" Rose said quietly.

They were both looking at each other as if trying to decipher the other expressions.

"It's okay Rose. I'm sorry too. Will you forgive me?" The Doctor asked, just as quietly. When she nodded, he felt happier inside, and it seemed as if the three days – though it seemed like three eternities – of nothing, no Rose were finally over.

He looked at her for just a minute, and then gave in to the desire to cup her cheek. When she leant in to his touch, he felt little shivers running up his spine and into his core.

He glanced at her lips. That was all it took to make him lean in, preparing to once again feel the soft flesh of her lips upon his.

However, before he could kiss her, she spoke.

"Doctor, when Jack comes back I think we should pretend that we've made up. And… and that… and we should pretend we li… l-l-love each other."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to update, but I've been busy with school work and what-not. This chapter somes in 2 parts, so I'll get the next part up as soon as possible, but in the mean time, enjoy the cliff-hanger!**


	5. No Way Out Part II

**Title:** Feelings so Confus'd

**Doctor:** 9th, naturally.

**Disclaimer:** All I own is... is... now where did I put it? I'm sure I own something! Oh yeah! I own nothing. Doctor who belongs to the BBC, though I would quite happily relieve them of Christopher Eccleston (already free, I know)!

**Summary:** Rose and the Doctor are more than just friends, but what happens when the Doctor says something and Rose takes it the wrong way?

Will give you cookies if you can give me a better summary! Please?

**A/N:** Read&Review or my Wear-Bear will eat you! M for later chapters. This is my first fan-fic so be nice! I am going to start to try and update more often, though up until the 23rd of June I might not be able too! (After the 23rd I'll have no more exams left so will be free to write more fan-fics, LoL!)

* * *

"Doctor, when Jack comes back I think we should pretend that we've made up. And… and that… and we should pretend we li… l-l-love each other."

* * *

The Doctor – who had withdrawn from trying to kiss her, as she started to speak – heard what she said and pulled his hand away from her. _Shit!_ He thought to himself, crushed, _why did I go and dump myself in Ape-ish emotions again?_

"PRETEND! YOU WANT TO PRETEND!" The pain of her running out on him, and the pain of her words exploded through the Doctor, and a wave of anguish fuelled anger surged through his body. His voice took on a harsh whisper which, to Rose, seemed louder than thunder in the darkest of storms. "So what? Were you just after a bit of fun then, hey? Was I just a means to an end? Go on! Tell me! Why did you kiss me?"

Rose sat there horrified, watching the Doctor's facial expressions. He looked the same way he had when he had been screaming at the Dalek before they met Jack. The same pain on his face. The same anger in his eyes. The same tilt of a smile, tainted with Hatred. She hated looking at the Doctor like this, wanted to run away from the room screaming. Yet at the same time, wanted to comfort the vulnerable man the Doctor had become. To take him into her arms and show him just how much she loved him. Not tell him why she kissed him. Show him why.

But she couldn't. how do you do that with a guy who already told you he doesn't love you?

"TELL ME NOW ROSE! GO ON, YOU PETTY LITTLE APE, WHY DID YOU DO IT?"

Rose had scrunched herself into the corner, during this latest outburst. He could see that she was terrified, yet he couldn't stop. Not now. He had to let his emotions go. It was either this, or he would ravage her. And she had made it absolutely clear that she did not want the latter.

"I – I – I don't know…" She stammered.

"You don't know? Not good enough Rose! AM I RIGHT?" he bellowed, before his voice dropped once again to it's steely whisper. " Was I just a stand in until you saw Mickey?" If it wasn't for her own anger at the accusation or the pain of what he was saying, she would have heard his anger had almost dissipated, his voice broken and he sounded as if he was on the verge of tears. As it was, her own anger was rising so she couldn't hear it.

She was about to reply when she heard Jack's footsteps outside. Forgetting her anger, and forgetting her need to pretend, she yelled at Jack.

"Jack! GET ME THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS BASTARD! I can't stand even on more minute with him!"

"Rose I already told you! Not until you --" he was cut off as the Doctor's anger sparked up again.

"WHAT? YOU CAN'T STAND ME? AM I _REPELLANT _OR SOMETHING?" He was incredibly angry, then was over taken by a sarcastic wave crashing through him, wanting to make Rose cry. Wanting to hurt her. "No, actually! Don't worry your primitive little brain about it. I'm sure it can't cope with the pressure!"

"MY LITTLE BRAIN? You don't even know your own name! Or maybe you don't have one. Maybe your _'PEOPLE'_ hated you so much they couldn't even give you a name!"

The minute it was out of her mouth she regretted it. She knew it was wrong but in her anger couldn't take it back.

Jack heard everything that had been exchanged in the short time that he had been there, and decided the safest course of action was to drag Rose away.

He opened the door and pulled Rose out, swiftly shutting the door again and ran off with Rose. He knew the Doctor would likely be very angry, and upset. He knew from personal experience never to mock the sole survivor of a race about their race. It just hurt them too much.

"Rose! How could you have been so stupid? Right, stay in here and don't move, if you hear him come along the corridor, then don't make a sound. It could be a while before he calms down. Do you have any idea what saying that might have done to him?"

"I'm so sorry Jack, I didn't mean too! I swear, it's just I was so angry with him. I'm sorry!"

"It's not me you need to apologise to, Rose." He said, sadly, closing the door behind him. He left it unlocked because he trusted her. She wouldn't go looking for the Doctor without making sure he was calm, or at least without going to say sorry.

He made his way to the room he had chosen for them to make up, wishing he hadn't tried to intervene. Now there was even less chance of them making up again.

He expected the Doctor to be angry, and possibly preparing a fist for Jack, so naturally he was surprised when he reached the room. When he pressed his ear to the door – which was something he didn't expect to need to do – instead of hearing the expected curses, he heard the Doctor sobbing.

He rapped lightly on the door, and entered, comforting a weeping man for what would not be the first – nor the last – time.

* * *

A:N/ Okay, so did you like it? Did you hate it? Whatever you thought about it, why don't you give me a review and let me know? I won't bite you, you know.

**Oh, yeah, say 'Aye' if you want Rose and the Doctor to kiss in the next 3-4 chapters. LoL! **

**I will post the first part of chapter 5 when – if – I get 30 reviews! 30th reviewer gets a mention! **

**I even accept Flames! Just review? Please? That little button down there, only takes a minute!**


	6. AN: Not an Update, Sorry

This is just an Authors Note:

I'm really sorry guys, but I won't be able to put another chapter up until July. I thought that I'd be able to without getting in the way of my exams, but I was wrong. After nearly failing an exam the other day, I figured it would probably be more sensible to revise like my life depended on it. I'm really really really sorry. I'll try and get a chapter up as soon as I've had my last exam, I promise!

Raven Sky Costello X-X


	7. A Confession

As Jack entered the room, the Doctor looked up. His eyes were tear rimmed and his face was a mask of pain. Jack sat on the bed next to the Doctor. He held the Doctor to him, in a similar fashion to the way he held his own brother back home. They stayed in that position for a while, before Jack spoke.

"So… d'you wanna tell me what happened? One minute your fine and dandy, and now look at you!" Jack asked, his voice calming, and at the same time trying to get a smile out of the Doctor.

"Why did you do it Jack?" the Doctor replied, in the tone of one who was utterly depressed, his northern accent thickening in his distress.

"I thought you two would sort out your differences, ya'know and then practice your 'dancing'. I swear I didn't think it would backfire the way it did. I just hoped you'd say you're sorry to each other. I'm sorry…"

"We did. She said she was sorry. I said I was sorry. Then it was like when we first arrived on Raxacoricofallapatorius, when she first kissed me… Oh gods, what am I going to do?"

"Take it easy, and relax, that's what. Don't worry, we'll sort this out." Jack knew that it would take a while for the Doctor a while to open up and admit that he was in love with Rose. So far, he was still sticking to the story of merely fancying her. But saying that, he still needed to know what he had to do. "Just tell her how you feel!"

"I _tried!_ I did! I didn't tell her but I was going to show her… I went to kiss her and… and she said that we should just pretend to love each other! I don't get it! Why only pretend?" He stopped here, hurt showing in his eyes. "She doesn't love me. How could she?"

Jack held the Doctor as ha sobbed.

After a while, the Doctor sat up straighter, and wiped his eyes. Jack could see bags under his eyes as though he hadn't slept in a while. He knew that the Doctor wasn't a big sleeper. That much was obvious when they were in Cardiff with 'Margaret' the Slitheen. They'd just got off the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius and both he and Rose were shattered but the Doctor decided to do some shopping and filled their stocks on the essentials like tea bags and milk. He'd been heard complaining well into the night about the TARDIS not having room to keep a cow desptie it's vastness.

Jack thought that there was no better way to deal with a subject than head-on, and decided to broach this one as bluntly as possible.

"So, how d'you feel? And I don't just mean about this situation, I also mean about Rose."

The Doctor looked at Jack for a minute before looking down at his hands. He had been worrying them without even noticing. He stilled them. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he realised that he had picked that habit up from Rose.

"What's there to say? She was right! My people didn't like me! I was a rebel in a straight-jacket and tie community." The Doctor sighed, wondering how to say this next bit. He hadn't properly admitted it to himself until he realised how hurt he was after his argument with Rose.

"Go on, Doctor." Jack encouraged.

"Well, erm, you know when I said I fancied Rose?" The Doctor asked, taking Jack's nod as affirmative. "Well the thing is I lied! I don't fancy her, not at all…"

The Doctor noticed that Jack's eyes had gone wide, and indignant. He noticed that in the space of that one sentence Jack had gone from understanding to angry, and the he was about to speak. Befo0re he could get a word out though, the Doctor interrupted him.

"I'm madly in love with her. I can't stand it when she's with Mickey or someone else, because I want to be who she's with! Every time I see her I want to either jump her or hug her and be near her. I know it's stupid and impossible, but I find myself wanting to grow old with her and live with her for the rest of eternity. I want to show how I feel or to tell her, but I'm so scared. I love her too much to even take the risk of her walking out on me and going home. What's worse than anything is the knowledge that she'll never see me that way and never love me the way I love her!"

"So, um, you really love her?" Jack asked, he had to get him to admit it to Rose.

"Yup!" The Doctor replied, a little sadness seeping into his voice. "I'm officially in love with Rose Tyler, the most beautiful being in time and space - and believe me, I've met Aphrodite! Typical me, eh? Fall in love with someone 9 centuries younger who'd never look at me twice!"

Jack knew there wasn't much point in argueing, but he still felt that he should at least try to make the Doctor see reason.

"How do you know she doesn't love you if you don't tell her?" he asked.

"I can just tell, alright?" The Doctor replied. "I think I just need some space, okay?"

"Okay!" Jack sighed, walking out of the room…

… And smack bang into Rose, who had tears streaming down her eyes.

A/N: Sorry! I know I said I'd get back to you at the end of June but my computer crashed! Next chapter should be up soon though!

I'm really sorry about the author's note, and promise not to do that again.

Also I'm looking for a BETA, so my chapters will actually look good grammatically and all be in the same tense.

Wear-bear has gone on a permanent holiday after eating my foot. She couldn't stand the stench and nearly died of food (or is it foot?) poisoning!


	8. A Confrontation

**A/N: Sorry this has taken so long. I've decided that I'm no longer going to sety myself dates to update by as I don't have all that much time on my hands. I hope you enjoy!**

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**This chapter is dedicated to blackhairdye who has frequently requested an update!**

* * *

Rose Tyler stared in shock as Jack walked straight out of the Doctor's room and into her.

She'd been caught. Not only had she gone against what Jack had asked her to do, but she'd been caught too.

Eavesdropping no less.

This fact didn't seem to bother Jack though. No, he just grabbed her arm and pulled her down the hall with him.

"I told you, didn't I?" He asked her. He didn't even need to elaborate as to what he'd told her. She was still shocked about it.

Her speechlessness hadn't abated a whole fifteen minutes later as Jack banged a strong cup of tea in front of her.

She couldn't quite get over the fact that the Doctor loved her. She kept playing the line over and over in her head:

'The Doctor Loves ME! The Doctor LOVES me! The DOCTOR loves me!'

Suddenly she sat up straight and she could almost feel the light bulb above her head as an idea came to mind. She was going to confront him.

She took one last long gulp of tea before exiting the kitchen in search of her room.

"Charming!" Jack muttered sarcastically as she brushed him off with a wave of her hand. "Don't thank me! I'm just a comfortable shoulder to cry on and sexy biceps to look at!"

Rose sat down on her bed, working out a plot to get the Doctor to admit his feelings to her and not Jack.

Sometime later, Rose smiled happily to herself in the mirror.

She'd come to a decision some time earlier and now knew exactly how to get her Doctor back.

She'd changed her clothes appropriately and was now wearing clothes which would show her body to it's best advantage. A short but layered skirt emphasised her womanly hips and – with the help of stilettos – made her legs seem longer. Her breasts were accentuated by a tight top with a low neckline. She'd pulled her hair up in an elegant knot and had hoped earrings in, which – hopefully – made her look more feminine.

Now all she needed to do was fin the Doctor, and he'd be hers.

She opened the door and willed the TARDIS to guide her to the Doctor. Before long, she was standing outside one of the – supposedly unused – kitchens and she smirked to herself.

This was going to be easy.

She walked into the kitchen and noticed right away that the Doctor was sat, head in hands at the kitchen table. She pretended he wasn't there and went over to the kettle. Her mum always said that a good cup of tea can cure anything emotional and many things physical. Something to do with the caffeine release but Jackie was never fully able to explain it.

She picked the kettle up and reached over to the tap to fill it, making her top fit her even more tightly in the process. Then she opened the cupboard and stretched to the highest shelf she could reach for a mug. She poured some milk into the cup and reached for a tea-bag. Placing it next to her cup, she turned around.

When she looked at the Doctor, her breath caught.

He was transfixed, looking at her as a starving man would look at a free all-you-can-eat buffet. His mouth was open and his eyes were dark with desire.

She slowly walked to the table and sat next to him. She knew that before this could get better she needed to apologise. So she did.

"Listen, Doctor…" She said, trying to think of how to get it across. Bluntly, her heart told her. "I'm sorry. I was angry and I didn't mean to say what I did. Will you forgive me?"

She waited patiently for him to answer but he just continued to stare at her.

She got up and put her arms around the Doctor, grateful when he returned the gesture.

"I'm so, so sorry…" She whispered; her idea of seduction forgotten. She felt his arms tighten around her, and relaxed into his embrace.

After barely a moment had passed, Rose pulled back to look at him.

Seeing hurt in his eyes at what he must have assumed was rejection, she lowered her lips to his forehead, then to each of his eyes. She then kissed each of his cheeks in turn, before finally resting her lips on his in a chaste kiss.

She pulled back to try and garner his lips and was both surprised and pleased to feel his lips follows her.

He kissed her back eagerly, almost trying to drink her in. Rose opened her mouth to him and mapped out his mouth with her tongue.

Then she pulled back to look at him, using a finger to stop his lips from following hers again.

She had to ask before this went any further.

"Do you love me?"

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**A/N: There are two ways this can go:**

**It finishes in the next chapter**

**OR**

**There are several more chapters and the ending is better.**

**You tell me which you'd prefer!**


	9. A Denial

'Oh, Rose,' Jack sighed. She had to ask that. Didn't she see that the Doctor would hate confessing to what he believed to be a weakness? Or that she'd need to tell him how she feels first?

Jack calmed his thoughts and listened closely for the Doctor's reply. He could almost hear the second hand of a clock ticking.

No response came, so Jack pressed his ear closer to the door...

... And promptly fell into a hurrying Doctor.

The Doctor barely seemed to notice Jack was there as he ran off in the direction of the library. Jack looked around the room and saw an upset Rose.

'Don't worry, love, he'll come round soon,' Jack soothed. 'You'll see. He's just scared, that's all.'

'But Jack,' Rose allowed Jack to embrace her like a small child, her vulnerability showing through. 'What if we're wrong?'

'Then he'd have told you that he didn't love you,' Jack replied. 'Or he wouldn't have let you kiss him in the first place.'

'That makes sense,' Rose said softly.

'Of course it does,' Jack mocked. 'I said it. Therefore it must be correct. After all, I am the amazingly sexy, handsome, intelligent, lovable and sexy Captain Jack Harkness.'

'Yes,' Rose said, her voice low and sarcastic. 'Of course you are!'

'Hey! I am,' Jack huffed, indignantly. 'And aren't you forgetting that you over heard him say he loves you anyway?'

Rose smiled at the memory. Jack could almost see the wheels in her mind turning and telling her that she shouldn't have been so stupid.

'Come on,' Jack said. 'We're going to have fun this afternoon and try to forget all about lost loves, and then... then we'll try and get you your man.'

----

In the library, the Doctor read his book quietly, trying to ignore the hurt rising in his chest. She wanted to use him.

He never noticed the grin of a violet boy, hidden in the corner of the room.

**A/N: **Sorry it's so short, and that it's taken so long. I have quite literally lost the plot. That is to say, the book which had the plan of how this story was going to pan out in it. Therefore, I'm going to need to re-write most of what I already had written. Add to that 3 A2 levels (two of which will involve taking up my sleep time or failing because there's so much work to do) and a possible new writing course... ooh, and driving lessons... well, I may not update for a while. In fact, I will go so far as to say that you shouldn't expect an update soon, though if there is one, it's only because I found a spare minute! I will try to update as often as possible, but as you can probably tell, my life is chaos at the moment.


End file.
